Red Sox’s Jarren Duran Reveals Suicide Attempt, Discusses Mental Health Struggles

It’s always been part of sports fandom to try and get as close as possible. Nowadays, with the release of TV shows and documentaries, from the NFL’s Quarterback to the NHL’s Quest for the Stanley Cup, fans can get more personal with current players than ever before. But in those documentaries also comes an acknowledgement of fan impact on the players – a topic especially poignant in The Clubhouse: A year with the Red Sox, which was released this week.

The fourth episode of the documentary, which follows a turbulent 2024 season for the Boston Red Sox, features a blunt conversation with star outfielder Jarren Duran about his mental health. The episode, titled, “Still Alive,” after the message Duran keeps on his right wrist during games.

Duran, who was drafted by the Red Sox in 2018, was named MVP of the 2024 All-Star Game, finishing up the season with a .285 batting average, 24 home runs and 75 RBIs. He came eighth in American League MVP voting. But his professional career didn’t begin with immediate success.

Duran made his MLB debut in the 2021 season and spent 33 and 58 games in the major leagues in 2021 and 2022, respectively. He struggled at the plate, batting .215 and .221, and infamously appeared to give up on a play that would become an inside-the-park grand slam for Toronto Blue Jay Raimel Tapia. The Red Sox would go on to lose the game 28-5. Two weeks later, Duran made another defensive blunder and got into a shouting match with a fan.

“I couldn’t deal with telling myself how much I sucked every day,” Duran said, of the time. “I was already hearing it from fans. And what they said to me, [it’s not like] I haven’t told myself 10 times worse in the mirror. That was a really tough time for me. I didn’t even want to be here anymore.”

He went on to describe a suicide attempt that likely occurred during that 2022 season – I pulled the trigger and the gun clicked, but nothing happened,” Duran said. “So, to this day, I think God just didn’t let me take my own life because I seriously don’t know why it didn’t go off.”

That miracle drove Duran to reflect on his life and take steps to improve his outlook, including journaling, and, yes, writing affirmations on athletic tape around his wrists. “My inner demons don’t let me love myself or want to be proud of myself, that’s something I’m still working on,” he said.

As Duran has gotten his mind in the right place, his game has followed. But, as some will point out, that doesn’t always extend to his interactions with fans – even today. Duran may have hit 48 doubles and 14 triples last year, but his peak of media coverage was an incident in August where he was suspended two games for calling a heckler a homophobic slur.

“I feel like people see us as zoo animals sometimes, in this big ole cage, throw popcorn at you, get a picture with you, get your attention, scream your name,” Duran said.

“Sometimes some fans take it too seriously,” he added. “I feel like they cross the line when they talk about my mental health and make fun of me for that, calling me weak. It triggers me when you start talking about my mental health. Part of it is that loneliness, some people deal with it better than others.”

Duran’s story has been met with an outpouring of support.

“By opening up, he’s showing others who may be struggling that they’re not alone and that asking for help isn’t just OK, it’s essential,” said team president Sam Kennedy. “Every member of this organization continues to stand with him. He has our deepest admiration, he’s always had our full support, and we’re incredibly fortunate to have him as part of our team.”

Professional sports are a high-pressure environment, and passionate fans only amp up that mental pressure. Duran isn’t the first player to suffer as a result of those expectations, and he won’t be the last.

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Article by Katherine Manz